I don't know what it is, sometimes when I see a couple I have this thing in the back of my mind of how much I dislike them. Could it be me, being jealous? I really don't go out trying to hook up with anybody or try to find that special somebody to be with. I always tell myself that I don't even care if I ever find that "special someone" or if I even want to get married. So why is it that I have this feeling of jealousy when I see some couples that are so in love with each other? Perhaps a part of me do want that now, and I'm kind of allowing that part of myself that hates relationship to try to give it another shot. I mean it's always nice to have that special person you can always trust, who will always fight for you, who's always on your side through the good or bad.
Some people are fine being independent and does real well without being attached to anyone. I wanted to be that, I want to solve my own problems, I want to live my life without anyone's help or even their sympathy. I'm going to continue to not go out there searching for that someone but if the time comes, I shouldn't be pushing it away. And for now on I'll work harder on that jealousy feeling, it's a very ugly characteristic of a person's personality and I don't want that to get the best of me.
